Who would have thought that I’d find my muse in the form of a blow-up doll?  I’ve been sharing many intimate evenings in the studio in the presence of my inflated friend. Funnily enough I consider the painting to be more of a portrait than a still-life.  And with the addition of a small person in a tacky skeleton outfit the portrait has become more of a narrative, potentially allegorical, painting.  When the toy parrots and rubber snakes flock and weave their way into the composition I might be able to categorize it as a fully blown history painting!

The very best example of an artist who blurs the boundaries between portraiture and theatre; between animate objects and real characters, is Paula Rego.  Her series of paintings based on ‘The Pillowman’ by Martin McDonagh were shown at Tate Britain in October 2004 and in this short video she talks about her extensive collection of props.



This transformation of portraiture into the narrative and theatrical is new territory for me, a direction that I’ve always been tentative of.  So I have acquired the help of the exceptionally talented theatre director Rachel May Snider.  She is a very close friend who’s strong aesthetic pervades every aspect of her life.  If you want to get to grips with the way that she looks at and translates the world then I recommend seeing one of her plays.  I saw ‘Lulu’, a classic Wedekind tale, at the Hackney Empire and was enthralled by Rachel’s exuberant approach to a very dark story.  The audience slips and slides on a veneer of colourful cabaret knowing that something macabre and black festers beneath.































My collaboration with Rachel will see her ‘directing’ a series of paintings.  We are starting by ‘auditioning’ various puppets, stuffed animals, porcelain dolls and people.  Together we shall develop the characters of those that make it through and when we feel satisfied I will paint small portraits of the characters individually.  Rachel and I shall then compose a narrative that brings the characters together within one story.  The result will be a series of large canvases painted to represent key scenes within the story or ‘play’.

How we achieve this without the paintings resembling a storyboard or film still will clearly be the most challenging aspect of this collaboration.

We are going to have to get used to stretching the parameters of our two media in order to accommodate one another.  How much power does each of us relinquish?  Where will her vision and mine meet? The canvas will be Rachel’s stage, paint will replace dialogue, but moreover, this project will be an investigation into artistic control, style and ownership.

Amidst the unintelligible wailing of Auld Lang Syne at the turn of the decade I genuinely felt a shift; a closing of a chapter to herald a change of plot.

I am moving into a new flat in Elephant and Castle with studio included. For the first time I shall be living where I work and I hope that this shall fulfill one of many new year's resolutions: to spend more time on each painting- live with the work, turn it to the wall, let it fester, feel free to play with it, paint over it or discard it.

It was Rose Davey's doing. She came round to the studio before Christmas to give me a good hard crit telling me that I should be less inclined to merely contain a person or thing with a dark out line. At the end of the day it doesn't explain anything and renders most things flat. If I remember correctly her turn of phrase was, "if you can't hold her shoulder then you haven't succeeded in describing it."

So I have scraped the year's scabby accumulation of paint off my palette and I'm ready to return to a couple of paintings that are good but have the potential to be better.


































This may sound pathetic but it is a big deal for me to return to a painting that I have already proclaimed as finished. I shall be precious no more. Why not replace a self portrait as a deaccessorised transvestite with an equally androgynous male blow-up doll! Below is the result of a couple of hours of defacing...

























I retouched one of my favourite paintings;  a naked of portrait of Cassie covered from waist to toe in white paint entitled Pygmalion. This painting looked fleeting where it should have needed density. When you see the image you should be able to feel that her hands are behind her back. I think this turn of phrase may best be explained by an interaction between Bruce Bernard and Lucien Freud in 1992. Bruce was to stand for a portrait by Lucien and he decided that he would put his hands in his pockets as he assumed it would save time. Freud is known to have said that hands out of pockets are just as much of a challenge as hands in- they still exist and still have to be explained.

Having had a series of shows in quick succession it's been such a delight to return to the studio with no particular agenda. I have been painting for myself without expectations or deadlines, I have been playing with the paint, making mistakes and struggling.

A couple of months ago I was cycling back from a gig in the early hours. A street or two from home I almost ran over a pale pink lump in the middle of the road. With a prod and closer inspection I realised that it was a piglet's head partially skinned with it's tongue hanging out. This discovery on a silent suburban road was a truly David Lynchian moment. I took a photo of it on my phone.
























This little piggy (the majority of whom had gone to market) has been lingering in my mind. So I decided to paint it. It is liberating as I am only concerned with creating the feeling of foreboding, surprise and fascination that I experienced in the street.


THE PIGS


  




















   Pig no.1



   




















   Pig no.2

Below is one of the pairs featured in an Exhibition called Suspended in Process which opens on the evening of the 8th October at 14 New Quebec Street, London W1H 7RV.

Curators Kat Sapera and Sarah Bejerano have kindly invited me and seven other artists to make work that represents their theme. Here's a little extract from the press release ..."Suspended in Process refers to the distillation of continual metamorphosis; the concern is not the original identity, or the new one acquired, but rather the state of flux which lies inbetween."

I've been painting portraits of people naked or almost naked. Having done this I asked my models to give me a list of what they would like changed about themselves. I've then painted another portrait with all of these alterations. These modification requests have ranged from smaller hips to angel's wings!

The series has been beautifully titled, Alter-pieces, by my first subject, Cassie. She appears below with her list of changes.